neun: this is gay

"I don't know about three-ways, I always feel like I'm going to be the one voted off the island."

TV Show 1: Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World, Season 1 (2007)

Starring: Will Matthews, Peter Paige, Alan Cumming, and Taylor Dooley
Directed by: Q Allam Brocka
Channel: Logo
Episodes: 6 22-minutes episodes

Netflix Summary: Meet Rick (voiced by Will Matthews) and Steve (Peter Paige), the happiest gay couple in the world, and their friends Dana (Taylor M. Dooley), Chuck (Alan Cumming) and Kirsten (Emily Brooke Hands) as they live the good life in West Lahunga Beach. Featuring animation inspired by classic toys, this hilarious and insightful series from Logo is based on the cult favorite short feature by Q. Allan Brocka.

My Summary: Follow the lives of two very different gay couples and one lesbian couple in a homosexual-friendly community.

Story: I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to watch this. This is probably the most vulgar, dirty, politically incorrect, and disgusting cartoon I've ever seen and I loved every minute of it. This show doesn't take itself seriously and it gives a pretty realistic portrayal of a group of friends (minus the sinking ship, the talking cat, creepy fake sex change to get a baby, etc...) The main story arc of season one deals with the lesbian couple trying to get pregnant. This show keeps a consistent storyline, instead of restarting every episode with no mention back to previous events. The minor storylines for each episode are hilarious and it even has drama mixed into it sometimes. If you don't mind dirty jokes and vulgarity, this show is for you.

Characters: The characters are all ridiculously funny. They all take on a sort of homosexual stereotype. The main couple is Rick and Steve. Rick is the smart and girly one of the relationship while Steve is the manly dumb one. The other gay couple is Evan, a 19 years old drama queen with his sugar daddy, Chuck, who is 50 years old and HIV positive. The lesbian couple is Dana, the butch one who wears wife-beaters, and Kirsten, the very girly one. There is also a wide cast of supporting characters who are all hilarious in their own right including Condoleezza Ling, the girl who always ends up turning guys gay, and Pussy, the scheming talking cat of Rick and Steve.

Special Details: This is a stop motion animated sitcom. The fact that it's animated adds to how ridiculous things can get. The characters and scenery/props were made to look like LEGO toys or ones similar to that. Some episodes would also have random moments where characters would burst into song, adding to how amazing this show is.

Overall Rating: 10/10
Recommended if you like: South Park, Family Guy, homosexuality, anything on Adult Swim

xxjohnny.

SPOILER ALERT:
Super abbreviated plot summary (for those who don't want to watch the whole movie, but still want to know what happens):

• Dana and Kirstin use Rick and Steve's sperm to try to get Kirstin pregnant.
• Rick and Steve see a marraige consuler, while Dana and Kirstin babysit.
• Dana gets pregnant when she accidently spills Rick and Steve's semen on herself, while Steve comes out to his parents.
• Rick and Steven turn Pussy's room into a nursery, while Condi tries to steal Evan away from Chuck, but fails.
• The gang goes on a gay cruise, only to hit an iceburg a la Titanic, while dealing with Rick's ex, Hunter.
• Dana becomes sweet from all the hormones from the baby, but snaps out in time to go into labor.

səkkiz: one thousand miles

"I had no choice. That's life."

Movie 2: Last Train Home (2009)

Starring: Suqin Chen, Changhua Zhan, and Qin Zhang
Director: Lixin Fan
Genre: Documentary, Drama

Netflix Summary: Documentarian Lixin Fan follows a couple who, like 130 million other Chinese peasants, left their rural village for work in the city, leaving their children to be raised by grandparents. The husband and wife return only once each year, on an arduous 1,000-mile journey. But their homecoming is not a warm one, as their now teenage daughter, Qin, makes her bitter resentment known and debates pursuing a factory job herself.

My Summary: A documentary about the life of a factory working couple who only see their children once a year and the effects it has on their daughter, who feels bitter resentment towards them.

Story: I thought that the story would deal more about the topic of the great migration of factory workers back to their home, but the documentary focused more about the family and how this lifestyle has affected their daughter. The movie chronicles three different journeys home, all at a major point in their lives. I thought that the story was very depressing, but wonderfully captured. Of course, since it's a documentary, I can't really talk about things that I would about other genres because this isn't a written plot with actors. Still, I thought the movie was a nice view into the life of this family, even if it wasn't a picture perfect one.

The Family: The family captured me from the start of the film and held my attention the rest of the way. The mother and father work in a factory and they want their children to have the best out of life so that they won't have to experience the things that they went through. The daughter goes to high school and feels resentment for never having her parents around and believes that they never really wanted her anyways. Both groups show a very depressing perspective on what it's like to live a life like that.

Documentary Factor: The documentary had moments where they would talk to non-family members and get their opinions on things, most notably their views on America. The documentary also showed what the train stations were like as millions of people try to get on trains to return back home. This was mind-blowing to watch because people were literally running everywhere. The documentary style was almost surreal, but I thought it was a nice way to edit the movie.

Overall Rating: 9/10
Recommended if you like: learning about different cultures, documentaries, a real life story about a dysfunctional family

SPOILER ALERT:

Super abbreviated plot summary (for those who don't want to watch the whole movie, but still want to know what happens):

• The parents (Suqin and Changhua) go on their first train ride back home.
• The daughter (Qin) talks about how she doesn't have feelings towards her parents because they didn't raise her.
• Qin ends up dropping out of high school, moving out and working in a factory.
• Her parents want her to go back to school, but she refuses.
• Her parents go on a second trip back home along with Qin.
• At home, Qin and her father get into a fight when she tells them how she feels and openly cusses in front of the family.
• She ends up working at a bar/nightclub.
• Her family accepts that they can't make her do what they feel is right for her.
• The mom stops working and returns home to take care of her son, who is now in middle school, while the dad remains working in the city.

sete: them teeth...

"She's fucking eating him."

Movie 1: Primal (2010)

Starring: Zoe Tuckwell-Smith, Lindsay Farris and Krew Boylan
Dirrected by: Josh Reed

Netflix Summary: A wholesome outback adventure turns gruesome when one member of a group of friends on a camping trip takes an ill-advised dip that transforms a quiet night under the stars into a terrifying struggle for survival.

My Summary: Six beautiful young Australians friends go into the wilderness and encounter some weird ass virus that transforms them into monsters.

Story: I thought the story was pretty interesting. It was definitely not the kind of movie I was expecting it to be. I thought it would be more "The Hills Have Eyes-esque" with mutant wilderness people preying on the group, but it was more of a viral "Cabin Fever-esque" plot. The majority of the movie takes place in the woods and the main plot deals with a friend getting the virus and the effects of it. It gets weird near the end when they introduce another... uhh "creature?" and it's a little confusing, but the story was still enjoyable and fun to watch.

Characters: The movie starts off with the typical stereotyping of characters: the mysterious main girl, the leader who cares more about his work, the bitch friend and her weak boyfriend, the naive girl and the joker, but as the plot progresses, it loses the those stereotypes and the characters feel more real. The acting was well done and I ended up enjoying the characters and didn't find them unlikeable, even if some of them were total a-holes.

Horror Factor: There weren't any "jump out of your seat" moments, but the story did have that horror feel to it. Some moments felt a little comical, but I think that was all part of the style of the movie. This was a typical horror movie where a group of people are stuck in one place and they begin to die one by one.

Special Details: It had action scenes with moments of slow-mo in them and I really enjoyed that. There is a part in the movie that is totally disgusting and will make your jaw drop. Other than that, the special effects weren't anything life changing, but they were still on point.

Overall Rating: 6.5/10
Recommended if you like: Cabin Fever, The Descent, Australian accents

xxjohnny.

SPOILER ALERT:
Super abbreviated plot summary (for those who don't want to watch the whole movie, but still want to know what happens):

• Six friends (Anja, Dace, Mel, Chad, Warren and Kris) go camping in the wilderness.
• Mel goes skinny dipping and catches a disease from the water.
• The next morning, she finally loses it and becomes some creepy monster with sharp teeth and starts attacking the group.
• Mel kills Warren by biting him.
• Dace goes into the water and catches the same disease, becoming a monster.
• Dace and Mel take Kris away into the tunnels.
• The two remaining, Chad and Anja, fight Mel and Dace, leaving Chad and Dace both dead.
• Anja ends up in the tunnel and finds Kris, alive, but delirious.
• She discovers that Kris has been impregnated by the monster.
• A weird giant slug monster with tentacles grab Anja, while Kris grab Anja's knife and cuts open her stomach to have an alien slug baby thing fall out.
• The giant monster slams Kris against the wall, killing her.
• Anja ends up escaping the monster and leaving the tunnel, but Mel comes from behind and attacks her.
• Anja ends up killing Mel and surviving.

zes: spring break? more like movie break.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

It's Sunday and Spring Break basically started Friday.
On Friday, it was Senior Skip Day.
A couple of my friends and I went to Jacksonville to chillax at the beach.
It was pretty fun! I wish I could've stayed longer though.
The car ride home was probably the best part of the trip.
We kept on making truckers honk their horn at us.

Saturday. I went to Jacksonville again with a different friend.
We shopped till we dropped and went to a fucking giant Forever 21.
Then, we went to the other mall and walked around.
Lesson of the day = P.F. Chang's fails at having good food.

Now, I have absolutely nothing to do.
So, I decided I'm going to watch a crap load of movies all week.
And then review them on my blog!

Holla at cha homeboy.

xxjohnny.